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by DoctorInfinity
Summary: Rin Satsuki eventually eats a meat bun and discusses life with a famous video game developer.
1. Chapter 1

Marisa Kirisame lapped up the scarlet tears of the yukkuri as she whipped them with pine noodles. Her stewardess, Reisen Udongein Inaba, was busy altering the tan waves to be puce-colored so they appeared to reflect off the strongly-flowing tides from the yukkuri, which was being used for Gensokyo's emerging sweet-and-sour sake industry.

"How does Tenshi taste, my love?" Reisen asked.

Marisa gruffly shifted the broomstick protruding from her groin. "Like some masochist with peaches."

Suddenly a polka-dot gap opened right next to Reisen, and plexiglass suiiiiiiiiiiiicycles ridden by green-skinned Reimu Hakureis dressed in pink drag ran over her, causing her to release slightly off-color N blocks that were entirely useless. Somewhere Yukari Yakumo cackled.

Marisa remembered she had to go use Alice Margatroid's toilet later. Nine groups of six bands of revolving duos of oscillating squid shook their heads in unison below the green stars. A cow bleated in the shine of the piss-colored acid rain.

Like glorified Tulostoma catheters, the yukkuri grew aglets on their hair and invented astral projection. Exactly nineteen milkmen with bucket caps for shoulders and asplenia for feet revolted, and Gensokyo was thrust into a faith crisis for 38.428804 years because the sweet-and-sour sake glucose plants could not supply adequate energy to the succubi goddesses with soybeans for wings.

Then it turned out they didn't exist anyway, so Marisa thrust her groinstick through a multi-eyed fairy's head and spent the rest of her day yodeling.


	2. Chapter 2

Tewi Inaba was the pride of Eientei, a place inhabited by rabbits. So composed of pride, in fact, that one day her ears turned into individual rabbits, which then proceeded to reproduce with each other. This subsequently caused their ears to transform into rabbits as well, which also reproduced, twice as quickly as their parents.

As a result, Tewi's ears quickly transformed into a pair of fractals, which melded into a rift from which a huge twelve-dimensional laser shot out and destroyed Eientei, and swept off a chunk of the flat area it was on, causing a rock slide that rolled upwards the Burning Bamboo Forest of the Charred and formed a rainbow-colored black hole floating above Orangeasia, formerly known as Gensokyo. Except soon it was now known as Gensokyo because Flying Buttress the Yukari decreed it failed to create a suffusion of yellow exactly 2 minutes, 17 seconds, 34 milliseconds, and 109 picoseconds after the initial renaming. Orgiophant Keine Kamishirasawa agreed.

A drunken, cyan-skinned Reimu Hakurei dressed in even more drag and smeared clown makeup stumbled into the tavern that was the Hakurei Shrine and effeminately demanded to know what was going on. However, her half-life ran out and she passed out over a bar stool with patterns of little strawberries on it, vomiting rainbow-colored powder mix. The rainbow hole, which was normally a gentlemanly apriorism known for its monotonic granulosis, swept up the Hakurei Shrine with its prehensile antennae made out of baby seal clubs in reaction to this distasteful vapidity.

"This is it, an incident!" Cirno exclaimed, from the headquarters of Team Nineball, a growing chain of fast food restaurants that served grilled chinchin.

"Good luck!" Yuuka Kazami said cheerfully, before her body transformed into a rafflesia that had a passion for discordant jazz and a dream of being in a Broadway musical, and her head shot upwards with high-pressure green blood.

The blood knocked over Cirno, who then wedged her head inside a Calabi-Yau manifold webbed with tentacles and cloacae that was sitting on the ceiling, filled with rows and rows of machines that did nothing but fail to work.

After some struggling, she tore off her head and regrew a new one with a mustache. Daiyousei watching this cried. She lost her favorite tesseract to that manifold.

"I am no longer Churnduo. The eras have ended. I am Al Cirpone, of the Iceleer," Chiruno declared in an extremely meta context that threatened to tear the worlds apart with its funnels.

Wriggle Nightbug punched her into Makai and resumed watching her living book with pulsing blood vessels made out of ungodly white Satanic stickfigures and secreting radioactive mucus from teary nuclear bombing victims, bloodily carved on the subject of eldritch numbers.

The resulting chemical reaction of a highly-accelerated Ai Chirpunonononononono with Makai caused several geysers across Gensokyo to shoot invisible pee-colored black paint that would dye the sky bleen, a nonexistent color only subtly detectable on leap seconds.


	3. Chapter 3

"Now, Remilia," MANnosuke Morichika said, almost entirely nude except for an indecent fundoshi recycled and weaved from the tear-soaked documents formerly used by tormented bureaucrats in the depths of Hell.

Dear Leader of the Scarlet Devil Mansion Remilia Scarlet opened a slit-shaped portal with a suction so strong for which only the strong radiating MANgrit of MANnosuke could withstand. He was all the MAN that existed in Gensokyo, an estrogenous hive of feminine hair ribbons and menstrual blood.

With loud MANly grunts that echoed across all of Misty Lake, an unincorporated city-state made up of sultry maids kidnapped from all spaces, times, and dimensions both real and imaginary, and stupid tachyonic fairies regularly undergoing moron decay, he withdrew the MAN-Hakkero, Panfucker, from a dimension of lost souls and broken promises. The bulging veins on his bulking arms ruptured with blood spraying everywhere.

Remilia watched in astonishment as MANnosuke savagely ripped out the prominent groinstick, one of steel wrought from the unparalleled fires of the transfinith circle of Hell burning at absolute infinity kelvins, protruding from his MAN crotch, blood spraying further forth, and replaced it with the Panfucker, an absolute affront to the beliefs of any human religion originating from Earth, an eldritch insult and horror that even Satan cowered at, hewn from the chitons of the Great Old Ones, far transcending even death in strange aeons. It screamed terror, its darkness travelled faster than light, its tangled, thorned green and purple veins covered in teeth of last death borne a large gaping hole, a slot, from which the beam of infinity could escape.

The sheer presence of the Panfucker, now MANnosuke's ungodly groinhole, tore the Scarlet Devil Mansion apart, as MANnosuke shot through our Dear Leader, splitting her in half, and jumped to the rainbow hole at near light speed.

Remilia's spirit whispered into his ear as he flew: "Rinnosuke, you must kill the fuck out of that black hole."

MANnosuke appeared in front of the rainbow hole, directly outside the event horizon, its strong gravity no match for his MANliness. The whoosing sound could be heard everywhere, like the sound of a million dying cows in pain blowing through vuvuzelas.

"Care to have tea, Rinnosuke?" the darning vihara hole said with its coseismal ranarium, in a tone of Eurocratic organometallic acridity. It began spewing out rainbow-colored gel balls made from Jupiter rocks, whizzing past MANnosuke and flooding Gensokyo and causing everyone below to have sex, as everyone was gay in Gensokyo, except for MANnosuke as he was the only MAN in the entire world.

"You know how I hate frogs," MANnosuke said. A rainbow danmaku bullet hit him and stained his right Beatrice nestler calf, but he was too MAN to be affected. "MANLY SPARK!" MANnosuke shouted as he pointed his groinhole at the rainbow hole, and a huge rainbow-colored MAN beam shot out, vaporizing away his legs.

For one, short picosecond MANnosuke made sweet, sweet MANly love with the rainbow hole, and then everything was annhilated. He raped the fuck out of Gensokyo, Earth, the Milky Way Galaxy, and several other galaxies including the Andromeda Galaxy.

"Another incident resolved." And then Rinnosuke was a yukkuri.


	4. Chapter 4

Rin Satsuki had a dream. She had a dream that all people named "Rei" would come to dance on the sands of the Empire State Building, while it was raining cherry soda and the trees were blooming, bearing magnetized cornstarch. This excluded Reimu, because Reimu was a cow that said "baa", and she had slapped Nitori Kawashiro into submission for her suggestion of itemized shelving nostrils.

Rin hugged her itemized shelving nostril. It had improved the constant entropy of many needling Heiser geese who went to funhouse to fiddle off coachloads of bones of Haemodoraceae hexachlorophenes. Of course, Rin wasn't a goose, and she thought that sort of stuff was grue anyway, given the number of indigentia that breezed through the pores of a Mandelbrot set on a daily basis.

Eirin Yagokoro barged into Rin's tiny house floating adjacent to the Hakurei Ranarium. The door was locked, so Eirin tore a wall down using her groinaxe. Rin was relieved she didn't enter from the w-axis this time, as it caused her brain to turn into a strawberry smoothie made of wine-stained tampons and the heads of babies born with a beating heart and lungs placed in their head, that Suika Ibuki and the other onis enjoyed for a day and a half.

"Rin! Rin! Marisa ate a weird mushroom and she disappeared!" Eirin exclaimed. "I need your nemesia!"

Rin bit into a meat bun made with the sacrifices of a collective of dark angels with eyes for wings and flavored with relish gas. It tasted like taffy-flavored prosciutto and shark cartilage. She thought about the conquest of Maanairu on a cross-shaped planet for a better life for all dark angels, then realized this meal tasted horrible.

"I ate it months ago."

"Dammit, Rin! What are we gonna do on the bed?"

"Have you really been so far as decided on what to-" Rin was cut off by a mutant fairy with swords for arms and lances for legs crashing through a window. It turned into a transparent bunny when it hit the floor, which immediately burst into lasers and turned the house into a giant magical youkai spider girl with talking insectoid wings named Laria. That is, both she and her wings were named "Laria". She was holding a chicken leg, and a demon doll sat on her head.

Rin found herself in a bed with Eirin, too small to fit both of them. It was crawling with rotting fish corpses with spider legs, and both of them fell through the bed.

"I return from the dead to eat a fish sandwich," Laria said. Fish sandwiches. The lowest form of life.

It was snowing Cirno ice danmaku bullets and they were floating in space, surrounded by a spiderweb background. Rin was so shocked her eyes turned into poorly drawn scribble circles. Eirin thought Marisa must have turned into a gasping sturgeon fish by now, with an affinity for lava.

Laria immediately began shooting alpacas and smiling Flandre Scarlets at them, which whizzed past their hitboxes.

Then Eirin realized she needed to return a book to the Voile Library at Scarlet Devil Mansion in less than 5 minutes, before Patchouli Knowledge turned into a giant dragon ogre that shot taco beams from her eyes and terrorized Gensokyo with a giant mecha, powered by the broken promises of Gensokyo's stillborn males, shouting words made out of Medusa's eyeballs. She did this every time a book was overdue, and it was bad for her asthma.


End file.
